Xavier University
ACHA M3 • ICHC
Date: May 22, 2025
Would Recommend
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For a long time, I chose not to leave a public comment about Meg Decker. Maybe it was because the most healing thing I could do for myself was simply move on … from the torment, from the toxicity … and focus on becoming the role model I desperately needed during that chapter of my life. When I was first recruited, I saw something in her. I thought she could be someone to look up to. Someone who would teach me how to navigate adulthood with strength, professionalism, and friendship. I followed that belief blindly for far too long. I made excuses for her. I defended her to my family, whom she disrespected in a handful of scenarios. To my friends, who watched me return from practices and games emotionally drained and defeated. And even to my teammates, who experienced the same pain I did. For many years, she placed me on a pedestal, called me her favorite project, gave me leadership roles, had me act as a social bridge between her and the team, told me secrets and fears and personal opinions. I even shared a brief friendship with her once I graduated. For so long I convinced myself she must’ve seen something in me. I thought maybe she had a vision no one else could see, and that was enough for me to justify the harm. What I see now is that none of it was about me, it was about her. Every “investment” she made in me was transactional. I wasn’t being mentored. I was being manipulated. Groomed to play a role in the story she was writing about herself… a redemption arc, a misunderstood genius, a hero forged through struggle. It was never about building others up, only about building her own myth. I wished her well on her journey to Xavier and hoped that she had learned from her mistakes. When I learned that she had not only stayed the same, but gotten worse… I believed karma would eventually catch up. And sure, her being fired is pretty fair karma to me. I thought her being fired from Xavier might finally break the cycle of confusion and tainted sports careers… That she would hang her coaching hat and make an effort to soul search with her God, look in the mirror and identify why she is the subject of so many people’s therapy sessions. But it seems she will be pursuing another coaching gig maybe not at the collegiate level but none the less young women and girls. And I think knowing that she is still finding ways to manipulate her way into these types of professions compels me to say something. So, this is a warning to anyone who enters her circle: proceed with caution. She often spoke of her “hero’s journey,” her desire for an origin story rooted in struggle and trauma. And yes, she has endured her share of hardship. I don’t take that away from her. But I have yet to see her truly rise from the chaos she has partially been responsible for creating. There’s a dangerous pattern in people who are convinced they’re on a righteous path. Many believe that if they just keep going, eventually the world will understand their mission. But what they fail to see (or perhaps don’t care to acknowledge) is the destruction they leave behind. They’ll weaponize sympathy, manipulate perception, and create a broken environment just so that they can play savior. That, in my eyes, is who Meg Decker is! I have plenty of stories that could illustrate her absurd tactics, psychological warfare, and generally petty disposition .. however I think there is more than enough on this page (and I can attest to of many of the stories here) I will just say this.. Please (if you’re a parent) do your research. Coaches aren’t just instructors, they become some of the most powerful influences in a young player’s life, for better or for worse. They shape how young women see themselves, how they handle pressure, how they define strength, and how they learn to trust authority. I cannot stress this enough: Meg Decker should not be ANYWHERE near impressionable young girls. The emotional manipulation, the mind games, the way she chips away at self-worth while disguising it as “tough love” is not development, it is damaging. Your daughter deserves a mentor who will build her up, not one who sees her as a pawn in a personal narrative. Some people love the thrill of twisted individuals - I’ve just grown tired from it. If you’ve done your research and still choose to associate with her, that’s a choice you’ll have to live with. But understand this: in her pursuit of a hero’s journey, she’s left behind a trail of emotional wreckage that too many people are still recovering from. She didn’t just shape athletes, she shattered identities under the guise of mentorship. That’s not coaching. That’s abuse.