Former Women's Lacrosse Head Coach
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Xavier University
Date: October 5, 2026
Would Recommend
not a girls girls coach. wants to win at the expense of her team.
Xavier University
Date: June 19, 2026
Would Recommend
It was more about her than the girls and the program. Her lack of professionalism, her inability to connect with the girls, build culture, and overall ineptness, created a situation of pitting teammates against teammates, distrust, and rampant emotional abuse. Where she should have been building a program, she actually set the program back. She lost a great assistant coach and made questionable hires in her husband (who had ZERO coaching experience) and Kirkland Lewis. Both were just as detrimental to the program. Not only did she fail as a coach, but as an ambassador to the sport and the university.
Xavier University
Date: June 18, 2026
Would Recommend
Promised every player so much and never got that experience. She left a lasting impact on her previous players, and not for the right reasons. Hope she is not allowed to coach an athlete again. Not fit for working with children or adults.
Xavier University
Date: March 30, 2025
Would Recommend
It’s very difficult to pick 5 things to describe Coach Decker when there are only 2 negative choices. I don’t know where to start but how can you demand anything of your players when you have already missed two of the first ten games of the season. She is not a serious coach and is more sociopath than anything else. The comments from all of the other parents are spot on. Xavier will lead D1 lacrosse in two stats this year. 1. Transfers (this will be the second year for that accolade. 2. Missed games by a head coach. Either the admin doesn’t know how bad she is or they just don’t care. Prove us wrong G Anthony.
Date: July 18, 2024
Would Recommend
Meg Decker is the 11th worst D1 Coach of women’s lacrosse teams in the NCAA and she picks up Kirkland Lewis, who was fired from Furman mid-year in 2024 after almost 2 years of coaching there while being the 47th worst coach in the D1 women’s lacrosse world. All other coaches are gone. Matt was fired for a Title IX violation and the others contract ended. Rumors swirl when facts get blurred by leadership and sometimes those rumors become fact. It’s a cespool of incompetence and turning a blind eye and a deaf ear. It’s on the verge becoming a failed program and Meg can shoulder that blame. Don’t expect to get 4 years there.
Xavier University
Date: April 29, 2024
Would Recommend
The honey moon ended when I got on Xavier campus. Head games, silent treatments, withholding earned play time, passive aggressive behavior and pitting teammates against each other is how the season went. The coach and her husband seem to have been mad for the past 4 months. Today, almost half of the team decided to go into the transfer portal. She tried to get some of the freshmen to think about it more and to stay. 15 players won't be enough to have a team next year so she is desperate. Regret something else in life but not your decision of where to go to play lacrosse. Xavier wants to back her and ignore the problems, but I think this might change their minds. If it doesn't, then they deserve to lose the millions she just cost them by being the kind of coach she is, and they sure don't deserve your money.
Xavier University
Date: January 16, 2024
Would Recommend
We have started our Spring season and we already have girls talking about transferring or quitting altogether. ROTC practices on top of 20 hour weeks and why? We have a run test but the results don't matter. Same run test as last semester that sent one girl to the hospital who still hasn't been cleared to play. The team culture is brutal and I am one of the liked players. It isn't the way things are supposed to be. Now her baby daddy, who she told everyone was her husband but I guess, he isn't, has been hired to help on the field even though he has no lacrosse experience. He's mean. She's mean. Another assistant coach quit at the beginning of this semester. She was just hired last fall. That means the entire staff is unproven and inexperienced. I'm not sure where we go from here. Too much negativity. I hope we can pull this season off but there are a lot of obstacle. It's depressing.
Xavier University
Date: November 8, 2023
Would Recommend
I have the privilege of playing for one of the best coaches I have ever met. Her ability to command to instill confidence and unity towards a common goal is truly remarkable. She was consistently upbeat and optimistic, and her positive attitude was overwhelming. Roster of 35-40 young women and ONLY 3-5 of them spew negativity.....by my math she must be doing something right.
Xavier University
Date: November 3, 2023
Would Recommend
Coach Decker is undoubtedly the best coach my daughter has ever had. She possesses an incredible ability to impart her lacrosse wisdom to her athletes while also creating a supportive environment that nurtures their mental and emotional well-being. Furthermore, Coach Decker encourages creativity and solicits feedback, which allows her athletes to grow into well-rounded individuals. Despite her overwhelmingly positive and supportive attitude, Coach Decker's biggest weakness is her willingness to forgive and forget. However, her commitment to improving herself and those around her is unwavering, and she consistently demonstrates an unparalleled level of dedication to her athletes. Couldn't imagine a better mentor for my daughter.
Xavier University
Date: November 3, 2023
Would Recommend
Throughout my time on her team, Coach Decker has been a role model and mentor to every player on her roster. If you want to be the best person and player you can be, you should definitely play for Decker. She is an incredible coach who has grown and evolved over the years. Decker helps you on and off the field in all ways possible. She creates leaders and helps people achieve their goals in all aspects of life. She is like a friend who is honest and still pushes you to be your best. Coach Decker asks for the best version of you every day. She develops practice plans that cater to taking care of her athletes in ways that haven't been done before. I could go on all day about how much she goes out of her way to take care of the people around her.
Xavier University
Date: May 27, 2025
Would Recommend
She was hired at Annapolis Area Christian School in Maryland as their new Lacrosse Coach and Athletic Director
Xavier University
Date: May 22, 2025
Would Recommend
For a long time, I chose not to leave a public comment about Meg Decker. Maybe it was because the most healing thing I could do for myself was simply move on … from the torment, from the toxicity … and focus on becoming the role model I desperately needed during that chapter of my life. When I was first recruited, I saw something in her. I thought she could be someone to look up to. Someone who would teach me how to navigate adulthood with strength, professionalism, and friendship. I followed that belief blindly for far too long. I made excuses for her. I defended her to my family, whom she disrespected in a handful of scenarios. To my friends, who watched me return from practices and games emotionally drained and defeated. And even to my teammates, who experienced the same pain I did. For many years, she placed me on a pedestal, called me her favorite project, gave me leadership roles, had me act as a social bridge between her and the team, told me secrets and fears and personal opinions. I even shared a brief friendship with her once I graduated. For so long I convinced myself she must’ve seen something in me. I thought maybe she had a vision no one else could see, and that was enough for me to justify the harm. What I see now is that none of it was about me, it was about her. Every “investment” she made in me was transactional. I wasn’t being mentored. I was being manipulated. Groomed to play a role in the story she was writing about herself… a redemption arc, a misunderstood genius, a hero forged through struggle. It was never about building others up, only about building her own myth. I wished her well on her journey to Xavier and hoped that she had learned from her mistakes. When I learned that she had not only stayed the same, but gotten worse… I believed karma would eventually catch up. And sure, her being fired is pretty fair karma to me. I thought her being fired from Xavier might finally break the cycle of confusion and tainted sports careers… That she would hang her coaching hat and make an effort to soul search with her God, look in the mirror and identify why she is the subject of so many people’s therapy sessions. But it seems she will be pursuing another coaching gig maybe not at the collegiate level but none the less young women and girls. And I think knowing that she is still finding ways to manipulate her way into these types of professions compels me to say something. So, this is a warning to anyone who enters her circle: proceed with caution. She often spoke of her “hero’s journey,” her desire for an origin story rooted in struggle and trauma. And yes, she has endured her share of hardship. I don’t take that away from her. But I have yet to see her truly rise from the chaos she has partially been responsible for creating. There’s a dangerous pattern in people who are convinced they’re on a righteous path. Many believe that if they just keep going, eventually the world will understand their mission. But what they fail to see (or perhaps don’t care to acknowledge) is the destruction they leave behind. They’ll weaponize sympathy, manipulate perception, and create a broken environment just so that they can play savior. That, in my eyes, is who Meg Decker is! I have plenty of stories that could illustrate her absurd tactics, psychological warfare, and generally petty disposition .. however I think there is more than enough on this page (and I can attest to of many of the stories here) I will just say this.. Please (if you’re a parent) do your research. Coaches aren’t just instructors, they become some of the most powerful influences in a young player’s life, for better or for worse. They shape how young women see themselves, how they handle pressure, how they define strength, and how they learn to trust authority. I cannot stress this enough: Meg Decker should not be ANYWHERE near impressionable young girls. The emotional manipulation, the mind games, the way she chips away at self-worth while disguising it as “tough love” is not development, it is damaging. Your daughter deserves a mentor who will build her up, not one who sees her as a pawn in a personal narrative. Some people love the thrill of twisted individuals - I’ve just grown tired from it. If you’ve done your research and still choose to associate with her, that’s a choice you’ll have to live with. But understand this: in her pursuit of a hero’s journey, she’s left behind a trail of emotional wreckage that too many people are still recovering from. She didn’t just shape athletes, she shattered identities under the guise of mentorship. That’s not coaching. That’s abuse.
Xavier University
Date: May 8, 2025
Would Recommend
Like many parents and athletes, we were initially impressed by what Meg Decker presented during the recruiting process. She spoke with confidence and vision, and we wanted to believe in the potential of a growing program. However, shortly after our daughter began her first year, we started hearing troubling accounts that raised serious concerns. Our daughter described a coaching environment marked by disorganization, minimal communication, and an unusual coaching style that often felt more like psychological manipulation than mentorship. At first, we gave the benefit of the doubt—hoping things would improve with time—but the issues only compounded. Fundamental skills like clearing, catching, and ball control were persistent challenges for the team. Despite the struggles, there was no structured review of game footage—Coach Decker openly stated she didn’t believe in film review. Players who wanted to improve had to take the initiative to watch games on their own through streaming platforms. Several assistant coaches who seemed genuinely invested in the team’s success left, citing an unworkable coaching environment. In her second year, Coach Decker brought on her significant other, who had no prior lacrosse coaching experience. His unclear role and overly casual demeanor blurred professional boundaries, creating further discomfort. Eventually, he was barred from being near the team—though the reasons were never made public, it was clearly not a positive development. By the end of the 2024 season, nearly half the team had transferred or entered the portal—one of the highest turnover rates in Division I women’s lacrosse. While the university appeared to take notice, Coach Decker remained in place. During the 2025 season, her disengagement became even more apparent. She missed two games entirely, with no explanation—an unacceptable level of professionalism at the D1 level. The university has since parted ways with Coach Decker. In our view, this was a necessary step. While she may have been a capable player, coaching—especially at the collegiate level—requires leadership, communication, and the ability to foster growth and resilience in young athletes. Unfortunately, many players under her leadership felt the opposite: that their love for the game was diminished. With her departure, there is a renewed sense of hope and energy among the team. We’re optimistic that the program can now move forward in a healthier, more supportive direction.
Xavier University
Date: May 3, 2025
Would Recommend
My name is Kathy Sage..I am the psycho parent referenced in a recent post. My daughter was the Grad Student. That post was written by the coaches boyfriend. I'm not hiding behind anonymity. Let's tell the real story. 1 student, my daughters girlfriend was cut without warning. The referenced video was of her in 8th grade saying something regrettable. The video has been shopped to every coach this girl has contacted and every boss out there. It is taken without context and it was never discussed before cutting her. That is a horrible leader who would take things from a malicious tipster without asking for an explanation from the accused. It was never a part of Decker cutting that teammate. Plus, if she were not D1 worthy, then the coach shouldn't have recruited her...but that is Decker's MO...telling everyone that they are not D1 worthy. SHE, DECKER...is the one who is not D1 worthy! Decker wanted my daughter's attention solely for herself. She had an assistant coach tell my daughter that if the other player got in the way, the coaching staff would take care of it. My daughter had no idea what they meant. Then her girlfriend was cut 3 months later. Then Decker told my daughter casually around that time, that she could see herself in a relationship with a woman, making my daughter extremely uncomfortable. My daughter definitely pulled away a bit and became closer to the team. Decker thanked my daughter for leading the team to complete the running test that fall, that sent one girl to the hospital and that many others failed to complete. My daughter played for that coach with mono that year and the coach was pissed she had to sit out and refused to start her after she was medically cleared. My daughter won a Big East award and had to beg for the award to be given to her and given a lecture by the coaches boyfriend about how she needed to be a better teammate. We went to the banquet that day and the coach and boyfriend avoided me . The next day she was cut from the team. My exit letter to Decker's actions was honest and scathing and she laminated and paraded it around the field. She didn't like me reacting to her so her husband calls me a psycho...I'm good with that. The coaches husband tried to buy drugs from my daughter at one point that semester, in text which was the beginning of his firing from Xavier. Decker told everyone I threatened her and had me removed from 2 games by campus police. Then she had my daughter removed for visiting the campus when she saw her. My daughter owns a house nearby so she has business in Cincy. My daughter bought that house at 23...but Decker said she had no leadership skills. I never threatened Decker...I just knew if I had gone and confronted her face to face she would have had me arrested. She kind of proved my point...attending a game was a lot less volatile...but I guess I read Decker correctly. I was team mother, friend, I compiled food-trains during Matts first bout with cancer...I sent her care packages, trinkets, texts of support that I thought she was doing a great job even though she was not on par. We went out to lunch, and she even told me it was the first time she went to lunch with a parent. We were pals. I used her realtor, I gave her advice about the real estate, and about living in an RV on acreage which she showed interest in doing. Ya know, things that you do when you like each other. She has never been an effective coach...but she had always tried. I was never in a place to be her critic so I just supported her. The only person who would know about the video they mention in the previous post was Decker and Matt because it would be completely unscrupulous to share something like that with parents...especially without speaking with the girl that was cut...about it...EVER. And the only person who could ever think I was psycho..is the person who didn't like hearing the truth in private letter form. When she was fired...it was like a firestorm on my texts to tell me the wicked witch was dead...those parents didn't think I was psycho! I reacted to the way she treated my daughter and me and all of her victims...if she didn't like that, she should have done better! Much better! I'm out!
Xavier University
Date: May 3, 2025
Would Recommend
Coach Decker coached me at University of Hartford. Meg Decker is an honest person with good intentions. However, during her time at Hartford, she lacked professionalism and often tried to mix concepts of "business models," psychological theories and political views into our training as division I athletes. This approach did not help us succeed. She cried after we lost a game against Holy Cross, while we were still on the field, while telling us that "our business was failing." This was a complete projection of her shortcomings as a program leader. There were many dramatic moments on this team, perpetuated by coaching staff and especially perpetuated by Decker, that caused our team to suffer. Many players entered practice in "fight or flight" mode, prepared to be forced to reps until they finally succeeded. Obviously this method of training was not effective because we continued to lose. And yes, there was an incident where marijuana was brought on a team trip, a concerned player brought this to coaching staff, and Decker brushed it under the rug and allowed this player, who brought drugs to our in-conference game against UMBC, to remain on the team. This was before the drug was legalized in Connecticut or Maryland. For the people that claim that she was just trying to get her footing... she had years at Hartford to learn how to do this. After experiencing division I level coaching under a new staff, I can say that Decker's coaching style was not productive compared to what the rest of the NCAA has to offer. I can say nothing about what happened at Xavier. However, when there is such intense discourse about whether a coach is a good leader or not, it is safe to say that the coach has some responsibility for the reputation he/she has gained.
Xavier University
Date: May 2, 2025
Would Recommend
definitely has some shortcomings as a tactician and head coach but operates with good intent. plenty of small mistakes here and there while trying to gain footing as a new program, most of which could be foregiven or overcome. however, one massive miscalculation led to the relentless spread cancerous gossip and childish attempts to undermine the growth of program. in a foolhearted attempt to improve the team culture, decker cut an entitled player with an inflated sense of self and little to no ability to carry themself as a d1 athlete, on or off the field (one minor example can be found on twitter/x......a self-made video of the player originally posted to snapchat.....casually using the "n-word"......while simultaneously being an over-privileged caucasian girl). reasonable people are probably wondering, "how is the removal of this player a negative!?!?!". Simple. Said removed players' girlfriend was still on the team -- a graduate student, no less, with the kind of emotional regulation you’d expect from someone who thinks “drama” is a leadership style. decker ignorantly understimated the blinding psycopathy this graduate student, and her parents, would display now that her lover was off the team. coach decker had an innate ability to draw maximum effort and energy out of her players......sadly, these efforts would only appear immediately after a player was removed from the roster. if only she could have found a way to draw those efforts out while these girls were still associated with the program. those of us around the program have witnessed how much easier it is to tear something down rather than build it up. regardless, probably best for all parties involved this chapter has come to a close.
Xavier University
Date: April 29, 2025
Would Recommend
All I can say is that April 29, 2025 is the best day in the lives of women's lacrosse at Xavier University. They finally fired Meg Decker and all of her staff. I have hope for the Xavier athletic program from here on out!!! It's gonna get better from here!
Xavier University
Date: April 10, 2025
Would Recommend
When you first meet Meg, she says all the right things to make you believe in her and her program. She will do and say anything to get support and recruit players. However, what has transpired this year is genuinely appalling. She hired Kirkland Lews, an associate head coach who handles everything on the field during practice, while Meg handles more "administrative" things like recruiting. She has missed two games without explaining why to the players; players didn't know she wasn't coming until they were already on the field for warmups. Outside of this, she and Kirkland specifically are very knowledgeable about the game of lacrosse, however their coaching skills do not translate. I have never heard coaches give so much negative criticism with zero constructiveness. They are both manipulators and need to be let go. All the girls hear is that they suck, this is the worst team and that they will never win. They have no problem telling the girls what they are doing wrong, including telling injured players that they must "pretend" to be happy when forced to sit in the freezing cold. There is absolutely nothing positive about their coaching styles. Kirkland is the worst in public, yelling in huddles during games all the negative things she can think of. Meg is more brilliant because she does it behind closed doors, so it's her word against the players. How they treat the support staff is another story that isn't mine. The girls are so mentally beaten; there is no longer a light in their eyes when talking about lacrosse. It is devastating how defeated they are and how little the coaching staff seems to care. An assistant coach was overheard telling the goalie, " you suck and need to do better" after a game. How is that helpful? If you are a parent and your daughter is considering choosing Xavier and Meg Decker, please do not let her. She promises everything under the sun and cannot hold up her end of the bargain. There were many problems during the 2023-2024 season, but at least they were winning. It is in your daughter's best interest to avoid Meg, Kirkland, and their assistants. Xavier had the highest amount of players transferring out last year, and it won't be surprising when it happens again. To the girls in the program, I'm so sorry you are going through this. We see you and know you deserve better. To Xavier Athletics, please do something! These coaches are not worth these girls' mental health and the humiliation this program is currently bringing to this school. For lacrosse to be a profitable sport, we need to win. That will not happen under Coach Decker and Lewis.
Xavier University
Date: April 9, 2025
Would Recommend
This team is headed nowhere good with Meg Decker as the head coach. The girls do not need a manipulator or degrader. They need someone that is going to support them on and off the field, and that is something Meg will never be able to do for them. They need constructive criticism that will HELP and SHOW on the field. Action needs to be taken to relieve the girls of this woman, and start them on a new path to success. Meg is not only a bad coach, she is a bad person and the girls deserve more from this program.
Xavier University
Date: March 28, 2025
Would Recommend
Coach Decker is quickly leading this team to complete disaster. Many would say that they are already there. She cannot coach. She provides negative feedback after negative feedback to her team. There is never any constructive feedback, it is always what is wrong, with no advice/coaching/support to improve on what is not going well. She does not compliment or praise for anything. She has recently told the team that they will never win with the team in front of her. The team has some talent but the girls are beat down, defeated, and in desperate need of a COACH who will help them improve, support them, and give them appropriate (non-belittling) feedback. The mental health is suffering greatly with these players and no, they never will play well under her as a coach. They are completely beat up and exhausted of the lack of support, mind games, and simple lack of coaching. It is time that Xavier cuts their losses and moves on from Coach Decker.
Xavier University
Date: February 28, 2025
Would Recommend
She tried at Hartford for years and failed to get wins. She has two years under her belt at Xavier and has failed to get wins. Year three starting off the same. Team doesn't need a psychologist or motivational speaker. They need a coach that can craete plays, have the team practice, then implement in games. If she can't come up with any, lean on the asst. coaches or just take the plays from the team that just beat you. Too haphazard out there on the fiield with way too many turnovers in the O-zone.
Date: June 19, 2024
Would Recommend
I would advise anyone who wants to play for her to reconsider. Although she was motivational, she was extremely exclusive and created a very negative environment on the team. I personally had wildly negative experiences with her and was once told that I was in responsible for my class’s behavior because I “had it easier than the rest of them”. She is a performative person with little interest in anything that does not benefit her and had a VERY negative impact on my mental health. She is the reason I decided not to play lacrosse after my first year.
Xavier University
Date: June 11, 2024
Would Recommend
I wish I could give negative stars for this mess. Caring? Not in our time, but she pretends for the cameras. She's good for showing up for the cameras and putting on her own show. Motivational? She could be if she didn't coach in such a condescending, defeating way. Knowledgeable? Of the game, maybe. Of coaching, No. She has no idea how to coach a team to victory. She teaches in practice, builds some up, pits other teammates against each other then can't coach effectively during a game, forgets what she said in practice, changes everything and loses badly. It's her pattern. I was so excited to be on this team when I first got here and that fall went well but then everything just imploded. She is very interested in telling us her stories but she wants nothing to do with anyone else's. Her boyfriend Matt is the assistant now and he is such a bad person. He is so egotistical and takes all the credit for a player getting an award even tho she came in a better player than he could ever coach. He has no experience and no talent and no personality other than yelling at and undermining players. The portal shows 11 people...but more graduated out or just quit. Having Coach Decker and Matt as coaches is like swimming laps with them holding your head under water and not letting you breathe until they are ready. Then you watch them laugh at you and tell the admin they got you to lap the whole pool in record time and even tho you lost it was the best heat the team ever had. Just Don't
Xavier University
Date: June 8, 2024
Would Recommend
Very motivated to win, puts everything else aside to do so. Does not care about players mental health, strains players far beyond limits, poor relationships with assistant coaches and cannot keep assistants on the staff. Removes players that don’t agree with her philosophy even when they are in the right. Hard to appease, makes you feel like it’s all your fault. Incredibly manipulative.
Xavier University
Date: June 7, 2024
Would Recommend
Meg decker should be flagged by the NCAA. Under Meg Deckers coaching my mental health flew right out the window. Constantly made false narratives about me and my person. Made false rumors around the team, would constantly find anything negative to point out and never gave clear instruction. She would always pin the blame on anything other than herself after giving zero instruction or accurate coaching. Gave horrible goalie coaching advice to our goalkeepers, ruined the team consistency, and would put up a front. Doesn’t care for players well-being, will put anything on the back burners and say it’s not important. Will attack players and call them horrible people. Will talk behind players backs. Will say the reason for someone having a bad day is because they’re not in therapy. Will talk bad about her husband directly to the team. Will create chaos and do nothing to help. Will make up false reasonings for why things went bad. The only reason Decker is coaching is to BRING IN MONEY FOR THE SCHOOL. She has zero good experience as a coach. Made a horrible program at Hartford and used Xavier as a scape goat. There is a reason why more than HALF the team left after the 2023-24 season. Reach out to players and ask for the TRUTH. Save your kids, your money, and your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. Nothing good to say about her other than she knows how to talk. Do not be fooled. There’s also a reason why she can’t keep staff. She’s awful to work with too. Treats everyone around her like a CRUMB. If she isn’t stealing your money, she doesn’t CARE. She doesn’t know how to build a team culture, odd enough as that’s her JOB? Doesn’t know how to DRAW UP A SINGLE PLAY. We never used the white board the ENTIRE SEASON. Never had a coach that didn’t make their OWN play on their OWN white board. UNPROFESSIONAL.
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